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Healing from Loss and Grief

                Have you noticed that when tragic events occur, we immediately find ourselves surprisingly clear about what is really important?   When a loved one is terminally ill, an unexpected death occurs, or catastrophes such as 9/11 happen, a remarkable shift in our perspective is imminent.  If you are old enough, you will remember where you were when Kennedy was assassinated, or for a more recent experience, when you heard about the attacks on the WTC.  After the shock, you probably felt more sensitive, more vulnerable, maybe more aware of your feelings than usual.  Some of your daily preoccupations seemed trivial in the light of the shocking event.

    With this altered attitude, we remember that material things and money, status and prestige, are mostly irrelevant in the big picture.  They take on importance in life as diversions, pastimes, and even entertainment during the journey through life, a fact that we usually forget.  In this aware state, however, we are very clear that nothing can go with us to our next place except our soul.  I’ve been wondering what could be learned from these times of sadness and loss. Is there a way to continue to honor what we learn and relearn during these chapters of our lives?

    The truth of deep loss is that we are likely to feel devastated and believe that our lives will never be the same.  We may revisit aspects of our lives that we haven’t thought about for a long time.  We find ourselves often close to tears, and at the same time, grateful for the company and caring of our loving friends.  Even the kindness of strangers touches our hearts.  Keeping our hearts open to receive this love and support is also part of healing.

    The truth is most people are essentially loving and considerate of their fellow travelers on this planet.  Underneath it all, what we really want to do is to make a difference, to contribute somehow.  During a grieving process, we experience over and over that ultimately, it is our relationships that matter, our connections with others. And how sad that at so-called “normal” times we so often take our relationships for granted.

    How would we experience life if we treated others as if it might be our last encounter with them?  Can you imagine a world where we remember that life is fragile and precious?  What if we could learn to keep our sensitivity alive when we are fortunate enough to be in the “stress-free zones” of life? 

    On the way to whatever the “new normal” may be, it is clearly a time of heightened sensitivity, when we feel genuinely moved by the authentic caring of people in our world.  This generous love, support and kindness is a lifeline in a personal ocean of despair from loss or anticipated loss.  It helps to sustain us and helps us to honor our own grief process.  It helps us to keep the faith that eventually we will find ourselves feeling whole again. 

          To reach Lainey, you can call Circleville Hypnotherapy, at 740-474-3417 or email her at eebright@columbus.rr.com